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Initially we're frightened it's something external we must lose-a marriage, a child, our standing in the world. But more often the real binkie we're sucking on is some stupid notion that has been holding our limited world in place.
That dysfunctional mindset must be shattered if we're going to grow.
During that time, he not only got divorced, he found sobriety, relocated with his girlfriend to another state, became a father, and launched a new career. Many days I lay on the floor and stared up at the sturdiest ceiling beam. My sister had told me about a woman she knew whose husband had just left her.
All were powerful transformations of persona and calling. With her newborn baby in the next room, this woman stood on a chair, threw an extension cord over the ceiling beam, looped the cord around her neck, then rocked the chair out from under her feet. For many months I journeyed in the underworld, scooped out, frightened beyond comforting, forced to surrender.
As neighbors gathered and a line of uniformed men marched in to observe me, I heard my husband explain he had somewhere else to go. Later I discovered that my natal Saturn was in Scorpio, conjunct my husband's Ascendant, and Pluto was transiting that point.
My husband was transforming his approach to the world (Pluto crossing his Ascendant).
All alone you suffer, until a door opens in your underworld locker and in walks Pluto. If she could understand, you'd explain it; but she doesn't, so you can't.
Instead she cries bloody murder until one day she just lets go.
The crucial part of Pluto's interrogation is to identify "that which we hold most dear," so we know what to relinquish.He doesn't engineer our suffering; our own confusion does that.